ME!
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SHANNON ! 13/07/92 and 23 Ex-rosythian, ex-sky, ex-srjcian, NSmen, FASS! ILOVEMYLIFE! |
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Designer - LiTtL3 aH mA Softwares - Photoshop/Dreamweaver Hoster - Photobucket |
Wednesday, August 18, 2010; ( 10:15 PM )
I screwed up my maths paper.
This sucks.
Why did i screw up my maths paper.
Because it was tough, probably.
Face it shannon, u din practice for it. You got that i dun care attitude towards maths.
If i did more maths, probably i wun fail so badly.
Probably, or maybe i'll just fail as badly.
Because i was ignorant, complacent, whatever.
I screw up my maths paper. This, sucks.
Monday, August 9, 2010; ( 10:55 PM )
This is ganna be a long post and probably the longest for now until A lvls' ended.
Let's start of with saying:
I miss laughing. I sure do. No, did.
I miss last year, laughing with junzhe, talking to reginald. He's kinda of a nice person to talk to actually. I miss having fun with 1s18, especially during pw where we all get so crazy. Filming the video at meiying's house was one of the best moments every. It was funny, there was so much laughter & never was there a dull moment. Nina was always being irritating, meiying was always doing something stupid once in a while. Not to mention emily screaming, ernest talking rubbish, qiyuan talking about some 'wow-stuff'. Laughing loudly with junzhe was best, even though it was loud. Even aaron, even though he rarely talks in the past.
But who cares? I enjoy it, why laugh softly, if you're really happy inside?
I sure miss the times during project work preparation for oral presentation. Singing with ly, doing rehearsal after rehearsal just to perfect our every action and the speech that we had to make. It was tough, but it was fun. Boonhan joined in too, and that made it all the better. He's one heck of a pampered KID.
And speaking of boonhan. I think my jc2 life would sucked seriously without him around. He's that kinda guy, that no matter what you do to him, he's like a big rock that just wun budge. And he'll go the extra mile just to help me get through it. Oh sure, i often bully him, but trust me, considered that goodwill bullying. Nah, goodwill fun. Bully sounds so negative. :D
XXB was awesome too. 6months sitting beside her for every tutorial lesson. Without her, my gp lessons would so freaking boring. I would have nobody to rant to when the lessons's screwed. Nobody to swear to relieve my stress. She always says just her luck, but come on, i know you enjoy it too. Thanks a million!
Well, emily tan also known as the BALL as named by boonhan was also crazy. No idiot will shout bitch from afar thinking that nobody's looking at her. It's not a soccer pitch girl. Trust me, she's just crazy, one heck of a kid. She's a reliable friend i could always count on, and thank you. Because without you, my 18th birthday will be boring.
I owe you more than what i can give.
Chinese new year was just as great catching up with old people. They used to be my pillar of strength, helping me along the way. Sengchoon, pengjie, melody, shili, jiahao and everybody else in 4e2 and in skss. Andy Mavis Yanheng, they made me feel that i'm not alone. Chinese new year, i met up with those 1 year see 1 time kinda friend, and it rocks just knowing that we can play and talk like in the past. I miss secondary school life but i gotta move on.
Orientation, was also as wild as it can get. I remember powerpack cheena duo desiree! Omg, she's crazy, small little kickass powerpack person. Hah! Without her, i think my orientation would be boring! I still owe you lunch if you're reading this. So yeap!
I've made lots of new friends during orientation too, and some old ones, like from primary school and stuff. It's a nice, warm feeling.
Shooting camp and recruitment too. Seeing something you planned bear fruit and coming to live with everybody having fun. I think no satisfaction is ever greater than that. Fellow teo, i still remember us preparing water balloon on that nightwalk. It was damn stupid, but it was funny! Guo Hao, i really really appreciate the help in the games. Without you, this camp will never be successful. And alot more that i wanna thank, that helped me with all that planning.
The campers were also awesome. They made me feel, that's it's worth my time, worth those rants i always made to fellow teo on msn. All the proposals and stuff.
Shooting team taught me something important in life.
Working alone can get you there. Working together can get you anywhere.
Thank you.
I never knew 2s16 until days before the mid years. Arnold made me realise that it's okay to go crazy and scream like there's no tomorrow. Sigit always did things that i could never understand. ZuMei's always there talking in class, keeping the class super lively. There was nina, jacinthe, aaron, waii hoong, chunqian, briana, leonard, li an, feng So much awesome people that just made 2s16 the way it is.
Taupok sessions, disturbing teachers, hiding valuables, making fun of each other. It was certainly, memorable.
Chalet was.. (speechless) :D
Comparing the past and now. I cannot remember the last time i actually spent my time laughing, free of stress and stuff. If i were to quote sigit "We may laugh and enjoy ourselves in class, but deep in us, we are all screaming for help" I'm sure arnold will agree with me.
It's not that i forgot how to laugh, how to have fun. I dun have the energy left in me already. And things happening around me isn't helping.
I feel as if i'm going through everyday as it is. It's like, oh, tomorrow's monday. What should i study. I think asking 'What should i study' is much more than me really laughing. I'm sick of studying, i wanna have fun. I want to laugh like how Shannon used to do so in the past.
It's different now. I feel like some, nolife-nerd kid. FML.
Thanksgiving is over, will run is over. Rockfest is over. Looking back at all these 3 events, i think i could safely say, those 3 times were the times i really felt like i was living, not going through the motion, not existing for the sake of it. It was just screaming, sweating everything out, laughing. Just being, myself.
Not to mention having lunch dinners with the usuals. Those were the times i miss. My jc life couldn't be better. I've already had the best things. Experience it before. But human being humans, we always want more.
Not to mention having lunch dinners with the usuals. Those were the times i miss. My jc life couldn't be better. I've already had the best things. Experience it before. But human being humans, we always want more.
On the topic of going through the motion, i should really stop taking things for granted. Maybe i should start being more cautious of other people's feelings. I hate waiting, especially long periods of time. I remember dreading the day of the medical checkup with arnold because of that stupid needle. We used to complain like almost everyday, it was funny. I hate waiting for prelims to start, i hope i can get over it like tomorrow or something. I hate waiting for A lvls to end, cause i cannot keep the fun in me struggling to breakfree. It's killing me inside. Oh well, but we just gotta have faith.
I feel like reading a book now, even though it's NOT an appropriate time.
I enjoy walking slowly, especially on a cool day. Boonhan is ganna say the usual 'Walk with shannon ah, cannot walk fast one, sureeee tio kan by him'. Well, fuck you. Emily will be like rolling my eyes at me and xxb will be like 'cannot stand it'.
Oh come on, i hate rushing through life walking so fast. So if i ever pissed anyone of you off before. SORRY LAH OKAYYYY. HAHAHA.
Sentimental me today or not. I really do miss alot stuff and i still cannot figure out some things. But i think it wouldn't hurt, to spend sometime out of these stressful periods to remember the times we all had, as a class, together, over meals, stupid stuff, whatever. You name it!
Laughing is certainly, no definitely one of them.
There's some yog stuff going on tmr, i should get some sleep. I've made much mistakes in my life. I've disappointed some people along the way, said really mean stuff that i shouldn't have, made empty promises. I admit my mistakes, i'm really sorry if i did you wrong. But i'm always heartened to know, that i've made a difference in some of your lives. One way or another. I appreciate you all telling me that. It's a nice feeling.
When i read back on this post, memories will flow back to me again and it just felt like, time has rewind itself back to the past.
Everything here came from my heart. I mean what i say, thanks for making a difference in my life.
; ( 6:22 PM )
1 more week to prelims and i just saw the prelim papers last year. It's kinda tough, maybe cause i haven finish revising yet. Nevertheless, everything was doable. It's nice to see the question and know how to do.
Well, last week was hell, and it hasn't get any better. But i'm struggling, i'm hanging in there, tieing a rope at the tip to make sure i dun fall.
If i could somehow, twist my words around here and there, then probably things will get better. But the matter of fact is, i suck with my language, and puipui will agree with me regarding my spelling. It can't be helped.
I guess when we experience, we learn. Saying and doing are two different things, two totally different experiences. I learnt many things through the hard way and trust me, those were always the worst periods of my life. 1 + 1 + ... makes a lot of regrets.
But, i'm happy now, cause i learn to appreciate, to think about how others will feel with words that was just a casual remark.
Learning, is lifelong.
I ain't feeling all that good these days, but i'll get by. Somehow.
I've bought a small book today, i guess its time to continue writing a diary.
Byee.
Saturday, August 7, 2010; ( 11:09 PM )
That's it, i'm washing my hands out of this.
Fuck.
Thursday, August 5, 2010; ( 8:51 PM )
Maybe i should stop expecting so much from the people around me
It's killing me inside.
Today is one of the days like, i dun feel like talking to anyone. I dun feel like opening my mouth, neither do i wanna smile cause i dun wanna be smiling for the sake of it. I can do nothing about this kinda weird-shithead-feeling but just wait for it to pass. This sucks, period.
I dun even feel like touching my work. I just wanna lie on my bed and close my eyes. How long has it been since i've last done that.
The most beautiful things, are the things that can't be seen.
How i behave may not be how i behave infront of other people, so dun go expecting so much from me and judging me from how i am in front of you. Get a life.
'When a volcano meets a hurricane' that probably summarizes how i feel now. I ain't so strong, funny, optimistic all the time, even the strong crumbles. I'm just a human being & like you all, i have thoughts and emotions, but the bottomline is, my life isn't much different.
Lesson learnt today, stop expecting and never take things for granted.
That's it, i've had enough. It doesn't matter anyway.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010; ( 8:51 PM )
Every fortnight, on this day, it's super tiring. Brain drain from all the lessons in school.
On the lighter note, friday is coming and there's no school on that day! Thanksgiving concert,
well another concert to go crazy and wacky all over. Cannot wait :D
Mentally tired, gosh, i needa rest my mind. I'm exhausted. But i look forward to every schooling day, cause it's the best days of the week. So what if there's stress? There's never a dull moment & that's all that matters :D
Byee
Sunday, August 1, 2010; ( 10:09 PM )
July has been an exciting month. Really very exciting, all the taupok sessions and the bags being hidden and getting scolded for nothing. It's really awesome. Yes i agree, there's stress. But i think it's an optimum and a healthy stress.
So that summaries July, exciting.
& here comes August.
Here comes Prelims and i'm honestly not readily for it. But whatever, i'll spend my last 2 weeks mugging. So yeap, here i come, all the way for these 2 weeks. Motivation to wake up in the morning, to drag myself out of bed everyday.
I cannot wait for A lvls to end.
I'm missing out so much fun recently, shucks.
Cause when we observe, we learn. Cause when we ask, we discover. Cause when we hear, we sympathize. Cause when we feel,
we truly understand what it means to live.
Thank you for helping me understand the simplest things we can do, to understand greater things in life.